Seven days into 2014 already, back at work again with a list as long as the great wall of China (all in my head). There are work goals, project objectives, personal decrees among the thistles to be obtained this year. My new year was indeed a new year, I was proposed to in an astounding manner as the man was on both knees with a rock (diamond) worthy of a resounding "YES"! Too much excitement for one week and planning a wedding is not easy depending on the kind of wedding one wants. The question that comes to mind is- What does a Samoan wedding REALLY look like?
My parents' love story is rather different from mine and have many amusing corners. One recollection from a relative of this included my father kidnapping mother dearest with "we are getting married today" in his levis jeans and hippie hair. He then continued driving to my grandparents' house to inform them that they were getting married and if they wanted to come, mass was to be held later in the afternoon. There were no invitations, no wedding bells, no wedding party and certainly no string band! I am sure one thing was present----drama!Today, with all the fluff and drama surrounding Samoan weddings, this would have been ideal for me but I have a feeling that mother dearest will not be amused by the elopement!
Again, what does a Samoan wedding really look like? No, it certainly does not look like Sione's wedding (rotten tomatoes). With the tides of inevitable change, most of the weddings nowadays are westernized. I haven't been to a wedding where the bridal party is adorned with siapo, fine mats or partake in the old exchange of measina and extravagant gifts. In a well written historical collection by Peggy Fairbairn-Dunlop, Sosefina-Josie, Phineas-Ioane tells of her own very traditional wedding to Momoisea with 1000 fine mats given by the village of Saanapu in exchange of marriage goods. Her sisters wove her ie tu, ie avaga, fala lauie and pupugi siapo while the village received money with a laulautasi (a presentation of gift items ranging from handcrafts and toiletries to clothing goods). This is unheard of these days, one thousand fine mats!
I am not one of those girls who has recurrent dreams of what her wedding day will look like or the dress that's supposed to cover the whole church floor
(a little extreme). I do not envision a wedding party/bridal party with 30 bridesmaids and seven flower girls (too much). I have more dreams of flying a Boeing dream liner or painting my mother's white wall with splashes of nothingness. A marriage will start AFTER the wedding and the wedding day is certainly not the climax of the relationship, it shall be the stepping stone to marriage.
The personal ambitions that I would want for my own wedding:
- God to be present at the wedding and throughout the marriage
- A small intimate wedding (small meaning 80 guests max)
- Have some colour besides white (turquoise nails/blue hair pins/red shoes?)
- Ban ALL cell phones and Fretbook status/updates/blurry photos/locations/followers
- Did i mention NO cell phones?
- A proper registry to avoid ending up with 20 dozens of the same Chinese made dishes and matching tea towels.
- For mother dearest to be seated and not run around chasing things or people
In the end it matters whom you marry not the look or cost of the wedding (whether it's Samoan or multicultural). The union of two souls will impact both spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally and relationally. I and Him should go into this marriage with both eyes open so there is no misunderstanding or compromise after.
"The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare.... Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ"The Christian Pundit, 2012)
So, with the whole year to enjoy, one must truly seek out what they truly need in order to be challenged. Sometimes, the greatest outcomes are achieved with the smallest steps.