Because I said so

My mother is the kind of woman who will either put the fear of God in you, set you straight or simply scare you. Some people (maybe most) are actually scared of her the first time they meet her and sometimes well after  the first encounter.  She is vocal, straight forward and assertive, all of which I have no problem with. Many of these traits have been passed down to me and my many siblings, it seems to be a more common trait in the girls. This  is not a new thing with the women in my family (me included).  My grandmother (mother dearest’s mother) was a kindred spirit, she was the softer side of the matriarchs.   However my great-grand mother  was a tyrant (or so I’ve heard).  Mother dearest loved her grandmother, adored her, perhaps because she was the pele (favourite) out of all the grandchildren. I grew up hearing stories of how my great-grand mother single handedly raised her children as well as building up the family business. Her motto,  if she had one, would have been-

 “If you don’t work, don’t eat”. This is my interpretation.

The women who gave life to me are/were hard working, business headed, entrepreneur –ing, family oriented ,traditional,strong, iron-fist ruling women.  When I was a child, I remember spending a lot of time with nannies not because my parents were rich (I’m blessed) but because mother dearest had to work hard.  My mother never went to university, she finished education in highschool and she married young. I have many siblings (a separate blog) and so mother dearest had to sell vegetables at the market everyday to put us through school.  She is still doing this to the present day eventhough she has grown children working and the farm is doing well enough for her to retire soon. My papa (father dearest) is the scholar and the farmer (certified civil engineer) but mother dearest is the brains, marketing, sales manager, transporter and many other roles not defined on the internet.

I remember when I had chores and homework to do (tried my best to avoid), I would ask why I had to do them…
Mother dearest’s usual reply

 “Enid, because I said so”

This phrase was the answer to a lot of things in my life.  It’s not a bad phrase either. It simply means, do what I say or your life will not be pleasant. I find myself saying that to my 3 year old niece, Arabella, these days whenever she gets smart with me. She is quite smart for a 3 year old, she started walking at 8 months and started talking at 11 months . I kid you not; this child might be the death of me. Do not let her blond curls and cute complexion deceive you.  I wonder now  if the women  in my family passed this phrase down from generation to generation.  It has worked so far and I am sure its value will not be lost on the young. Do it because I said so, no argument just obedience. Perhaps this is where Nike's "Just do it" jingle comes from.  When I moved out of my parents house at the age of 16 to pursue higher education overseas, this phrase wrung in my ears.  I heard mother dearest’s voice whenever it rained (more like a resounding yell), when I felt homesick and discouraged
 I heard her say the following:

Do your assignment,

wash your clothes,

clean this messy house,

don’t go to that party,

stay away from that crowd,

go to church,

get up
go to class!

do better next time

….because I said so’.

The one phrase that irritated me as a youngster became my driving phrase when I left home. It was the voice of conscience, my helper, comforter when in time of need. Jesus of course was there every step of the way sometimes  in the form of my mother’s voice. Somehow mother dearest’s voice seemed much softer in my head, nevertheless it has brought me thus far. 
 I am sure most Samoans/Pacific islanders will relate to this blog.

What about you? What is your mother like? Does she have a proverbial phrase she usually answers your woes with?

Arabella when she was a year  and a few months old, she chose these shoes and refused to take them off.  Taken in front of ACB building Samoa-hating the cigarette butts at the back!